Ask Me How It Works

Love in an Open Marriage
Now available from Viking Books UK

Je mag me alles vragen: liefde in een open huwelijk
Uitgeverij Nieuw Amsterdam
Portrait of Deepa Paul by Samira Kafala

About Deepa

Born to Filipino and Indian parents in Manila, Deepa Paul lives in Amsterdam.

Ask Me How it Works: Love in an Open Marriage is her debut memoir.

Meet the author

September 13

The Book Club XL: Beyond Monogamy
Felix Meritis Institute, Amsterdam

Get Tickets

September 19

ESEA Litfest
Foyles Charing Cross, London

Get Tickets

October 11

Viva la Vulva Festival
Tilla Tec, Amsterdam

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October 15

Love is a Battlefield: Relationships in Midlife
NIO House, Amsterdam

Ticket sales TBA

October 12

Book Signing
Waterstones, Amsterdam

Free

October 18

Writing Far, Writing Home
Frankfurter Buchmesse, Frankfurt

Get Tickets

In the early hours of dawn in Amsterdam, Deepa Paul rises from her boyfriend’s bed.

She gets dressed, slips away with a kiss and cycles home, where she is welcomed into the arms of her husband, whose contentment is mellow alongside her own.

There isn’t a glimmer of shame, deception or guilt, only the honesty and compassion needed to make this kind of life possible — even if it wasn’t always this easy.

Press

Press

Featured
2025-04-16 Deepa Het Parool portrait-2.png
‘Je mag me alles vragen’ in PS, Het Parool’s weekly city guide
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‘The life of a polyamorous mother? It’s exhausting,’ writes Mark Smith in a feature for The Times
Stylist picks ‘6 fascinating books that explore polyamory and open marriages’
Stylist picks ‘6 fascinating books that explore polyamory and open marriages’
‘Ask Me How It Works’ in Sunday Times Style Barometer —‘What’s hot in 2025: trends to know now’
‘Ask Me How It Works’ in Sunday Times Style Barometer —‘What’s hot in 2025: trends to know now’
Viking triumphs in six-way auction for Paul's 'life-changing' memoir on open marriage
Viking triumphs in six-way auction for Paul's 'life-changing' memoir on open marriage

Viking has triumphed in a six-way auction for Deepa Paul’s "revelatory" exploration of open marriage.

Publishing director Harriet Bourton acquired UK and Commonwealth rights in a "significant" deal for Ask Me How It Works from Jo Unwin at Jo Unwin Literary Agency. Rights have been pre-empted in Germany (Hanserblau) and the Netherlands (Nieuw Amsterdam/Park). The memoir will be published in spring 2025.

Viking unveils new logo at 40th anniversary celebrations ahead of bumper year
Viking unveils new logo at 40th anniversary celebrations ahead of bumper year

Viking has celebrated its 40th anniversary and launched a new logo ahead of a bumper year of publishing. Looking ahead, the next year promises to be a major year for Viking.