Ask Me

A Memoir of Daring to Love Differently

Longlisted for the Women’s Prize for Nonfiction 2026

Buy ASK ME in paperback, out March 26th
Listen to ASK ME, the audiobook, on Audible

  • 'Deepa is the epitome of a woman living in her power. 'Ask Me' provides a stunningly vulnerable and poetic glimpse into her most intimate spaces and through her journey to sexual liberation. If this book doesn’t change your perspective on relationships, nothing will.'

    GILLIAN ANDERSON

  • 'A singingly honest, live-wire of a memoir... will leave you thrilled and humming with possibility'

    YAEL VAN DER WOUDEN

    Women’s Prize for Fiction 2025, The Safekeep

  • 'A fascinating and big-hearted portrait of sex, intimacy and polyamory, which left me wanting to spend more time with her.'

    CLOVER STROUD

    My Wild and Sleepless Nights: A Mother’s Story

  • 'A spectacular memoir written with verve and style'

    NANA-DARKOA SEKYIAMAH,

    The Sex Lives of African Women

  • 'A refreshingly honest and intimate exploration of open marriage... As a woman of color, her perspective adds a needed voice to discussions of non-traditional relationships.'

    JESSICA FERN

    Polysecure & Polywise

  • 'A brave and elegantly executed memoir about the power of writing your own rules, shaking off shame and fighting for a marriage to work'

    THE TIMES OF LONDON

Je mag me alles vragen

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Uitgeverij Nieuw Amsterdam

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What if you dared to want more— from love, from life, from yourself?

In the early hours of dawn in Amsterdam, Deepa Paul rises from her boyfriend’s bed. She gets dressed, slips away with a kiss and cycles home, where she is welcomed into the arms of her husband, whose contentment is mellow alongside her own. There isn’t a glimmer of shame, deception or guilt, only the honesty and compassion needed to make this kind of life possible — even if it wasn’t always this easy.
You might have questions. Whose idea was it? What are the rules? Are you ever jealous? In this memoir, Deepa offers her answers openly and tenderly, as she explores the truth to questions of her own. Can I ask for what I want? Do I deserve it? Is it worth it?
Unexpectedly relatable, at times raw and vulnerable, and joyfully vibrant, this is one woman’s story of becoming, of desire and identity, and of asking the questions she deserved to find the answers to.